Growing Up

[bertine]

Stuff is going on in my life that I haven't written about. I'll get around to it but until I do, I have a couple questions to ask you:

What do you want to with your life? What are you doing to get to make that happen?

Comments

If all you want is to be happy, it's not hard to have all you ever wanted.

[damncutekitty.livejournal.com]

I just want to be happy.

And most of the I am more or less content with my life. I like my apartment. My job's kinda boring but I like the benefits so it's worth it. I have awesome friends and do fun things.

It'd be nice to eventually have some sort of long term, committed relationship. But Ive long since learned not to base my happiness on things that are in the hands of fate. So while it would be nice to have a life partner, it's no longer something I need.

Am I setting the bar too low? Am I a slacker because I am content with renting, making less than 40k/year, and having no real responsibilites and no aspirations loftier than making kickass con costumes? Or am I on my way to being a zen master for having abandoned the so-called American dream of the house, the career, the SUV, and the 2.5 children and just loving my life as-is.

Re: If all you want is to be happy, it's not hard to have all you ever wanted.

[lonely-doll.livejournal.com]

I agree with this whole post. I still have moments where I think, "Gaaa, what am I doing wasting my life?" but as I get older and, I hope, wiser I've realized that I'm not so much wasting my life as I am living it.

But what the hell do I know? I'm just a big ol' slacker! ;-)

Re: If all you want is to be happy, it's not hard to have all you ever wanted.

[bertine.livejournal.com]

My problem is that if I don't have a goal to work towards, I am not happy. I become depressed and aimless. I don't do well if I don't push myself in life. Maybe this will change at somepoint but I have a really hard time getting myself to sit down be content with the way things are for a long time.

Re: If all you want is to be happy, it's not hard to have all you ever wanted.

[damncutekitty.livejournal.com]

I have goals. they are just all short term. Like the tri or the Powerpuff costumes. I always have something I am working on.

But I've never been good at the whole 'major life goal' thing. Part of the whole thing where I never really knew what I wanted just that I wanted to be happy.

PowerPuff?

[scotia-girl.livejournal.com]

wait... I keep forgetting who you are IRL:did you do the Powerpuff thing at Anime Detour?

Re: PowerPuff?

[damncutekitty.livejournal.com]

Nope. Never been to Anime Detour.

Re: If all you want is to be happy, it's not hard to have all you ever wanted.

[bertine.livejournal.com]

I am not saying that I have to buy into the "American Dream" or lifestyle just that I need more than short-term goals.

Re: If all you want is to be happy, it's not hard to have all you ever wanted.

[pork_chop]

I want to find my ONE PHOTO of my friends and I when we made and wore Powerpuff Girls costumes, but it's not even a great photo. That makes me a little sad.

p.s. "dream scheme" is the best episode. i think i was telling you about it - it's done completely in rhyme.

man, i've forgotten how much i love those chicks. i think i still have a couple vhs tapes of episodes...

Are they low aspirations, or knowing what matters to you?

[scotia-girl.livejournal.com]

I think that's fabulous, Kitty!

The "American Dream" is "life , liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

It's not "2.5 kids, 1.8 pets, a spouse who spends more time at work than with you and the kids, a house that you'll always be underwater on, 2 cars that that you'll replace every 4 years or as soon as they're paid off and the cost of which in monthly payments would otherwise pay for a month or two roaming the world, and a retirement plan that leaves you working until you're well into your 70s."

Re: Are they low aspirations, or knowing what matters to you?

[gwangi.livejournal.com]

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are not the American Dream, they're our basic rights. Add in the right to own property (the Virginian Declaration of Rights, which was kind of a first continental congress precursor to the Declaration of Independence says...

That all men are by nature equally free and independent, and have certain inherent rights, of which, when they enter into a state of society, they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity; namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty, with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness and safety.)

and you have the things that are so basic to our freedoms that government must address any reductions in them specifically. George III failed to do that (along with all the other things listed further on in the Declaration), which is why we told him to bugger off. But those things aren't a very direct statement of what we're talking about.

The American Dream, I think most people would agree, is that you can raise your social class through hard work, without interference from other social classes or the government. If you're an uneducated Slovakian Jew who moves here speaking not a word of English, it's possible for you to eventually become Chief of Police, or a millionaire, or a baseball star, or whatever. In much of the rest of the world, that's still not going to happen, and back in the early parts of the 1900s, that "much" should have read "basically all". That's why immigrants come here!

Re: Are they low aspirations, or knowing what matters to you?

[bertine.livejournal.com]

Exactly, which is why I don't think I would descriped "2.5 kids, 1.8 pets, a spouse..." as "The American Dream but rather as "The American Lifestyle" and not really one that anyone has.

It is sort of like the myth of the 50s nuclear family. Very few people had it.

Re: Are they low aspirations, or knowing what matters to you?

[damncutekitty.livejournal.com]

I went through this whole internal struggle a year or two ago. I realized after playing rock band with friends one night that I was really happy. Like content with my life kind of happy. And here I was single and renting and I have this lame insurance job that will never make me rich.

And then the more I thought about I was like, why NOT enjoy life right now? I like renting because it means I don't have to spend my money on home repair or improvement. And I never have to rake or shovel. I like the flexible schedule and the month plus of PTO I get from my lame insurance job. And I've been successfully living within my means for years now and it's a decent life.

But so many people in my family are chasing after the big paychecks. My cousin who's the same age as me has a husband and a truck and a big house and season Gopher tickets and takes frequent vacations. My other cousin has 2 kids and a house and a boat and a big truck and no debt except his mortgage. I felt like maybe it makes me a loser that I am content to be where I am and I'm not chasing all that stuff, too.