tell me...

[bertine]

your favorite dumb joke.

like this:

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

Comments

[huckfinn.livejournal.com]

I walked into a bar and promptly told the bartender to pour me ten shots of tequila. The barkeep filled 'em up and put them in front of me.

I chugged them all, one after another. When I was finished, I dropped my head to the floor.

Bartender: "Boy, I've never seen anyone drink tequila so fast. What's the matter, buddy?"
Me: "I only have a dollar on me."

[huckfinn.livejournal.com]

I dropped my eyes to the floor.

[ctakahara.livejournal.com]

Heisenberg gets pulled over by a cop. The cop says, "Hey, buddy, do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg says, "No, but I can tell you exactly where I am."

---

A neutron walks into a bar. The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

[muskox.livejournal.com]

A bear walks up, and pounds on the bar, demanding
"Barkeep! Give me... a beer"

The bartender replies
"Okay, but what's with the big pause?"

[sharya.livejournal.com]

Favourite pickup line:

I've got an electron, you've got an electron... Let's bond baby!

[heidi-13.livejournal.com]

From some kid's magazine, book, or yogurt cup or something...I don't remember where we got it

When is it time to go to the dentist?
2:30

[lexir0x.livejournal.com]

why did the girl fall off the swing?

because she had no arms!

[sacramentalist.livejournal.com]

You just nailed my favourite dumb joke.

---

But there's another...

---

Two ropes are slithering down the street.

The first one says "Hey! Let's go for a beer across the street." His friend looks at the NO ROPES ALLOWED sign and says "Oh man! They won't serve us."

"Not to worry!" Says the first rope. He then frays out his end and ties it in a knot, and with a "Follow me!" leads his friend into the bar.

He goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender puts his hands on his hips. "Hey! Aren't you a rope? Didn't you see the sign? We don't serve your kind here!"

And the rope proudly responds with "Nope! I'm a frayed knot!"

[sacramentalist.livejournal.com]

Haha! What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

[alexlube.livejournal.com]

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm an alpha particle."

[sand-in-my-soap.livejournal.com]

Q: Why did the Comp. Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up?
A: Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)!

[verbalkint900.livejournal.com]

a piece of rope walks into a bar.

bartender says "HEY, we dont like pieces of rope in here!"

piece of rope leaves bar, frays himself at the ends, ties himself in a knot, re-enters bar.

bartender says "hey, are you a piece of rope?"

rope says "i'm a frayed knot"

[chelejean.livejournal.com]

what's brown and sticky?

a stick!

[chelejean.livejournal.com]

i have millions of these!

guy with no arms and legs:

on a wall: Art
in the water: Bob
twins by your window: Curt n Rod
on your doorstep: Matt
(girl) on the tennis court: Annette

heh heh heh....

[moorelock.livejournal.com]

A horse walks into a bar, bartender says "why the long face?"

What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky?

A stick of chewing gum...