[personal profile] bertine
So, first some background. The week before Ross was born was pretty stressful. We had to put our cat Emerson down (his kidneys were shutting down) and that made everyone really sad. Also, [livejournal.com profile] gwangi had a really bad cold. Through the week, I missed two days of work because I had a cold/sinus infection and Zach missed 1.5 because of his cold/cough/whatever. On Thursday, at my weekly checkup, the doctor asked if he was tested for pertussis, and all night long we couldn't think of anything other than "what if he has it and I go into labor, would they even let him on the floor?". On Friday, he woke up and realized he injured his rib coughing, so he went to the doctor to get tested for pertussis and asked to be started on the treatment for it without the results because I was so close to term with the baby. He also got cough syrup with codeine in it, which we decided he would test out that night because I didn't think I would go into labor and we wanted to know how badly it would effect him.

Of course, since he took the cold medicine, I woke up at 1am with contractions. I went downstairs and timed the contractions for an hour to make sure it was actually happening, and then woke him up at about 2ish. I called my parents a little after that to come stay with Henrietta since it would take them a little over and hour to get here.

The contractions started getting worse and I started vomiting. I decided to sit in the bath while Zach packed, which sort of helped with the pain, but after awhile I was too antsy to stay in there. As I was debating if we should wake up Henrietta and bring her to the hospital or not, she came out of her room. I guess we were being too loud. I called labor & delivery and we decided to go in.

The ride to the hospital was okay. Heated seats really helped with the contractions and other than having a contraction in a clover leaf, it wasn't terrible. Zach dropped me off at the door and I walked to the maternity floor while he parked the car and got Henrietta out.

They checked me and I was 5 cm with a bulging bag of waters, so I was admitted. The pain wasn't terrible yet, but I knew from Henrietta's birth that it wouldn't get bad until my water broke. Once we got to the room, I asked for an epidural. Side note, the epidurals at Mayo are different than the ones we got at the U, these have a button so I could control how numb I got. It was awesome since I didn't want to be completely numb, I just didn't want to deal with the full amount of pain. The epidural was in by 6ish and it was time for my body to do its thing. We also learned that Zach was negative for pertussis.

Around 7:30am they checked me again and I was still 5 cm, though 100% effaced. We decided to break my waters to see if that would kick start things. They also wanted me to "labor down" as much as possible since I was a TOLAC and the more my body did with out additional help, the less risky it was. Around this time Serinia showed up to be my doula, which was good because Zach was so totally wiped out. At a little before 10am, I knew my body was going through transition because, well, I had to hit the pain button. At 10:30 I was 9cm and he had turned to be in the correct position. Everything was going well for a VBAC and I was very excited.

We started pushing around 11, which is when my PCP came in. It was awesome that she was there to help me through the whole thing. It was nice to see someone I knew. It was very slow going, around 1pm he was +2 but not really moving. There was a lot of discussion of forceps but everyone decided that the baby might be too big to get out that way, around 4000g (which is what Henrietta weighed). We decided to push for a while longer and if that didn't work, go in for a repeat c-section.

At 2pm I was done. I was vomiting a ton, they could see the baby's head but he hadn't made any progress in an hour, and I asked everyone other than Zach to leave the room. I started bawling because I all of sudden realized that this was more important to me than I realized. That I weirdly felt that I should be able to push a baby out, and that I honestly didn't have any energy left to do so. Zach, of course, told me "who cares how the baby comes out" and made me feel good about it. Still, it was a pretty low point in the day, and I am sure the fact that I couldn't keep anything down wasn't helping.

We had to wait an hour for the operating room, which was fine because it gave me a chance to relax and calm down. It was nice, most of the waiting time was with the lights down and just Zach, Serinia and I in the room. Actually, once I decided on a c-section, I sent Serinia away because I couldn't deal with people.

Soon they were prepping me for the c-section, which took place in the room, which was really nice. Then I was wheeled to the operating room, where I was totally enamored with the lights. Seriously cool looking. They set me all up and soon Zach was in the room with me. I was shaking really badly, which also happened with Henrietta's birth so I wasn't worried about it. Everything happened pretty quickly from there, it doesn't take long for them to get the baby out, I heard his cry and he got checked by the pack of Peds since there was meconium in his amniotic fluid. Ross was 4430g, which is a pound heavier than Henrietta was which surprised everyone.

Zach brought him over and I got to cuddle with him, but I didn't want to hold him because I was still shaking pretty badly. About this time my placenta was delivered and multiple people came to tell me how healthy and large it was. It was a little odd to hear that.

I then started feeling sick and started vomiting. Zach and Ross were suddenly no longer in the room. I was told I was being put under general anesthetic. This was about the time I heard the head OB say "Page Dr for a consult on this uterine artery", I looked up at the drape over over and realized exactly what the splatter was. I said something like "okay" and was happy to not be awake anymore.

I woke up in the labor room a couple hours later. I felt awful and really didn't know what happened. Zach said there was complications and the OBs came in and told me I had lost some blood and I would be getting a unit or two of red blood cells. I was sort of in and out of it then. I nursed, which made me feel like I wasn't totally useless, but otherwise I don't remember much until we got to the recovery room and my parents showed up with Henrietta. They only stayed for a short time, but I was so happy to see Henrietta, I wanted to give her a big hug and kiss since I wasn't going to see her for a week.

That night I got my RBCs, and in the morning I passed a huge clot. I passed a couple more large one that day, and I honestly couldn't stand without almost passing out. So, it was decided to give me more RBCs. Honestly, Sunday was sort of a blur also.

Monday I felt much better. I had gotten decent sleep (they took Ross to the nursery for a couple hours in the middle of the night because Zach's coughing was waking him up) and I was finally able to stand without going white as a sheet. They took the catheter out, which revealed that some nerves that control it were numb, so I couldn't control my bladder. It is embarrassing but since they told me it could take a couple weeks for that work right, it wasn't unexpected.

I started walking around, eating and after a lot of worry about not being discharged on Tuesday, we were discharged. I was so very glad to be home. The Mayo was much better than the U with the number of people in your room, but I still can't deal with it. It makes me so manic.

Some other things about our hospital stay: Because of Zach's cough, we were in "droplet isolation" so everyone had to wear a mask in our room, which was funny and weird. Ross was super healthy, other than a little jaundice, which we declined the lights for because we figured once my milk came in (it as a little slower than the first time) he would poop it all out. He did and it the levels were fine two days later. Also, the food at Mayo was so bland. It was terrible.

Oh, so what actually happened? On Monday night, the OB that was in charge that day came and told us. It was nice that she did. Basically, everything was seemly going fine, then when they were checking the placement of my uterus and bladder (which were removed during the surgery), they realized there was blood. They then had to take them back out and they realized that either the uterine artery or a branch had been "nicked" when they were taking him out. I am not sure what that means, just that I lost a little less than 2 liters of blood. They stitched it up and then the consult was with a urogynecologist, a sub-specialty that I didn't even know existed until that day. Basically, they were worried about damage to my urethra and wanted him to do what he could to prevent additional surgeries. They then replaced my organs again, and stitched me up. I guess I was pretty lucky I didn't end up with a hysterectomy on the table.

It is really weird to have all this happen and not remember it. To feel like you know what to expect from something since you did it before and have it go badly. I am having some issues processing all of this, though it is getting better. I can't figure out if I have some postpartum depression or if it is just the anemia. Also, having to wear giant pads (aka, adult diapers) doesn't really put me in a great mood. I get to take iron pills for the next few months (they check it at 6 weeks) and the hope is the nerve to my bladder (or whatever) will start working on its own in a couple weeks. If not, I'll have to have it repaired or something, I don't know.

Also, the OBs don't recommend I get pregnant again because I am even more high risk since nothing heals as strong as it was when it was made. If I wanted to, they wouldn't recommend I go into labor at all, since that could stress out too much. This was the last child we wanted, but it is weird to be told you shouldn't have more.

So, in the end, I had a baby, which is all that really matters.

Date: 2016-02-29 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eyelid.livejournal.com
*hugs* Zach is totally right, who cares how it comes out. Though I totally get where you were coming from, I felt much the same about Isaac's birth.

RE: the complications: !! it's so strange to think that you were actually in so much danger. It must have been much weirder to live it.

Date: 2016-02-29 09:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bertine.livejournal.com
Yeah, in the moment I was really upset about not getting a VBAC but now I am okay with that part of it. I think it is just that I was so sure it would work.

The complications: I KNOW, I remember thinking "this isn't good but there is no point to panicking" while they put me under but it took me days to process the risk I was under (even though I know it all turned out okay).

Date: 2016-02-29 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heathrow.livejournal.com
Xoxo. How stressful of a delivery/recovery!

Much love to you and the rest of the family.

Date: 2016-02-29 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melissa-maples.livejournal.com
Holy cow, what a saga. I'm so glad all of you are okay. <3

Date: 2016-03-01 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sharya.livejournal.com
I had a similar thing happen with Alex's birth, in that I had trouble processing what had happened. Essentially, she was such an emergency that they put me under with a general anesthetic, and took her out by section. When I awoke, I was alone, paralyzed, and no longer pregnant. It took me months to grieve the fact that I was not present at her birth, as strange as that sounds.

I'm so sorry you had such an unfortunate experience, but so happy you have a wonderful healthy baby as a result.

Date: 2016-03-01 03:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pallid-regina.livejournal.com
That sounds uber-stressful. I'm really happy everyone is OK now.

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